Sunday 4 November 2007

From Dominator to Partnership

I first came across Riane Eisler's work "The Chalice and the Blade" while studying Community Psychology back in Australia. I was fascinated by the idea that there was archaeological evidence of different models of social structures that were able to balance the gender equation. Men and women, while physically different, with different roles even, were considered equals. I don't believe I ever read the book back then (1997 or so) but I read numerous references to it.

More recently, as I've begun the reading for the Master's in Conflict Transformation, I have encountered her name in several places. Amazingly, my wife Samantha found a copy in a second-hand bookshop here in Phnom Penh.

Just reading the intro and I can't wait to get into it. Her questions: "What is it that makes us so violent towards one another, and between men and women?" "How is it that such violent people are capable of creating poetry, music and search for justice and peace?". There is a such contradiction to who we are!

This book, published way back in 1987, parallels my own thoughts and reflections. But more often I personify them. "How can I, someone who wants to lead a non-violent life, striving for social justice, perpetuate interpersonal relational styles that are antithetical to my desired goals? Why, when faced with conflict, do I fight back instead of trying to understand the person and their situation? Why do I assume that my perception of the situation is the only right one? And, why do I seek to control situations in which I am threatened instead of allowing the threat challenge and grow me?" When I do manage to relinquish my violent domintor actions to the process of seeking peace I and the other are transformed and can communicate on a totally different level, without any hint of violence to each other. There is magic in those all-to-rare occasions.

I am hoping that my studies will not only give me skills to move institutions and society to a more just future, but also that I would be a more just person.

May Peace Reign!